Commandline memes

Rainb0wSkeppy , vor 20 Tagen

$ man -k emacs
emacs: nothing appropriate.

possiblylinux127 , vor 27 Tagen

Hollywood

quantenzitrone , vor 27 Tagen (Bearbeitet vor 27 Tagen)

When I log into my Foonix system with my 110 baud teletype, both vi and Emacs are just too damn slow. They print useless messages like, C-h for help'' and "foo" File is read only''. So I use the editor that doesn't waste my VALUABLE time.

Ed, man!

!man ed 

ED(1) UNIX Programmer's Manual ED(1) 

NAME
  ed - text editor 

SYNOPSIS
  ed [ - ] [ -x ] [ name ] 

DESCRIPTION 
  Ed is the standard text editor. 

Computer Scientists love ed, not just because it comes first alphabetically, but because it's the standard. Everyone else loves ed because it's ED!

"Ed is the standard text editor."

And ed doesn't waste space on my Timex Sinclair. Just look:

- -rwxr-xr-x 1 root 24 Oct 29 1929 /bin/ed 
- -rwxr-xr-t 4 root 1310720 Jan 1 1970 /usr/ucb/vi 
- -rwxr-xr-x 1 root 5.89824e37 Oct 22 1990 /usr/bin/emacs 

Of course, on the system I administrate, vi is symlinked to ed. Emacs has been replaced by a shell script which 1) Generates a syslog message at level LOG_EMERG; 2) reduces the user's disk quota by 100K; and 3) RUNS ED!!!!!!

"Ed is the standard text editor."

Let's look at a typical novice's session with the mighty ed:

golem> ed 

? 
help 
? 
? 
? 
quit 
? 
exit 
? 
bye 
? 
hello? 
? 
eat flaming death 
? 
^C 
? 
^C 
? 
^D 
? 

Note the consistent user interface and error reportage. Ed is generous enough to flag errors, yet prudent enough not to overwhelm the novice with verbosity.

"Ed is the standard text editor."

Ed, the greatest WYGIWYG editor of all.

ED IS THE TRUE PATH TO NIRVANA! ED HAS BEEN THE CHOICE OF EDUCATED AND IGNORANT ALIKE FOR CENTURIES! ED WILL NOT CORRUPT YOUR PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS!! ED IS THE STANDARD TEXT EDITOR! ED MAKES THE SUN SHINE AND THE BIRDS SING AND THE GRASS GREEN!!

When I use an editor, I don't want eight extra KILOBYTES of worthless help screens and cursor positioning code! I just want an EDitor!! Not a "viitor". Not a "emacsitor". Those aren't even WORDS!!!! ED! ED! ED IS THE STANDARD!!!

When IBM, in its ever-present omnipotence, needed to base their "edlin" on a UNIX standard, did they mimic vi? No. Emacs? Surely you jest. They chose the most karmic editor of all. The standard.

Ed is for those who can remember what they are working on. If you are an idiot, you should use Emacs. If you are an Emacs, you should not be vi. If you use ED, you are on THE PATH TO REDEMPTION. THE SO-CALLED "VISUAL" EDITORS HAVE BEEN PLACED HERE BY ED TO TEMPT THE FAITHLESS. DO NOT GIVE IN!!! THE MIGHTY ED HAS SPOKEN!!!

nikaaa , vor 27 Tagen

TIL there is a standard editor

loudWaterEnjoyer , vor 27 Tagen

Thank you, can I subscribe to your newsletter or something?

quantenzitrone , vor 27 Tagen

https://www.gnu.org/fun/

loudWaterEnjoyer , vor 27 Tagen

Alright explain this to me https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/fsf-in-german.html

quantenzitrone , vor 27 Tagen

i don't understand it either

maybe i'd understand it if i was born before 1993 (the year this joke was send to the gnu mailing list)

loudWaterEnjoyer , vor 27 Tagen

lol so you are a kid???

quantenzitrone , vor 27 Tagen

i'm 22 so i wouldn't call myself a kid, but it depends on the point of view I guess

quantenzitrone , vor 27 Tagen

Ahh, the joke is that there is an event in Germany called "fisch sucht fahrrad" (short FSF) which is a big gathering of singles to find potential partners. A bit like Tinder, but before online dating was invented.

A gathering of FSF (free software foundation) People also consists of mostly single men.

loudWaterEnjoyer , vor 27 Tagen

Ohhh OK thats's actually kinda funny.

toastboy79 , vor 21 Tagen

I think you should watch this video

https://youtu.be/urcL86UpqZc?si=FmFLFGCgSd0-oTen

jxk , vor 29 Tagen

Here you go: https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/unix.errors.html

(% represents the csh, $ represents the bourne shell)
 
% "How poorly would you rate the Unix (so-called) user interface?
Unmatched ".
 
% rm congressional-ethics
rm: congressional-ethics nonexistent
 
% ar m God
ar: God does not exist
 
% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].
 
% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
Modifier failed.
 
% If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.
 
%make love
Make:  Don't know how to make love.  Stop.
 
% sleep with me
bad character
 
% got a light?
No match.
 
% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.
 
% ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
 
% \(-
(-: Command not found.
 
% sh
 
$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending
 
$ drink <bottle; opener
bottle: cannot open
opener: not found
 
$ mkdir matter; cat >matter
matter: cannot create
 
 
Or, in a System V (att) universe:
 
$ cat "can of food"
cat: cannot open can of food

Vivendi , vor 27 Tagen

Jimmy Hoffa? How fucking old is this? Was this written on a vacuum tube powered mini?

abbadon420 , vor 29 Tagen

When you frequently type sl instead of ls. There's this nice feature to get rid of the bad habbit
It sends a slow moving train accross your terminal

VinesNFluff , vor 29 Tagen

alias molest="sudo touch"

And in a similar vein back when I used an arch adjacent distro I aliased pacman -R to "yeet"

Install a package with yay packagename, get rid of it with yeet packagename

MonkderDritte , vor 29 Tagen (Bearbeitet vor 28 Tagen)

pacman -Rsn to clean up after.

Oha , vor 29 Tagen

what does c do? been using rns for years

MonkderDritte , vor 29 Tagen

-c, --cascade
Remove all target packages, as well as all packages that depend on one or more target packages. This operation is recursive and must be used with care, since it can remove many potentially needed packages.

Ok, not always with -c.

Petter1 , vor 20 Tagen

🤣🤣

MonkderDritte , vor 20 Tagen

Well, in short, with -Rsn, pacman complains about breaking dependency apk-style. With -Rcsn, it just resolves them (asking first of course).

takeheart , vor 29 Tagen

git gud

not a meme per se but I always found the command abcde confusing:

user1: How to best rip this music album??

user2: Oh simple: abcde

user1: 🤔🤔?

abcde stands for 'a better CD encoder', the more you know

DmMacniel , vor 29 Tagen

abcde is pretty great, and it has a funny command name :D

zephyr OP , vor 27 Tagen

git rekt

pelya , vor 29 Tagen

My go-to joke is

cat /dev/urandom | pxz | grep haxx

Or if you want to be nasty

setsid sh -c 'cat /dev/urandom | pacat -p'

As for puns, less command does the same thing as more on MS-DOS.

RustyNova , vor 28 Tagen

What those two commands do?

pelya , vor 28 Tagen

The first one is a fancy CPU warmer. The second one will play loud noise through your headphones, and setsid will make sure you can't stop it with Ctrl-C.

There was a thread about console commands seen in movies or TV, when the actors need to do some 'hacking' on camera. And the most common one was just installing updates to your Linux distribution of choice.