It's a rolling release with minimal changes to packages from upstream, and generally the latest versions of available software in the repos. I guess you could go through and rebuild the whole system from source if you were determined to, but a quick look at the ABS wiki page doesn't make it seem like it's set up to make doing so all that easy. For other software not in the repos, the AUR makes it easy enough to build them from source, though there's often binary options available as well. The base install is pretty simple, so you can build upon it as you'd like if you really want to go wild on a minimal, highly customized system. Or you can go wild installing what you'd like and trying all the things.
You can set general options for all compilations in /etc/makepkg.conf, and package specific options would probably be best handled by just downloading a PKGBUILD for the package in question and editing it to include the option you want to enable. makepkg won't ask you about options by default when building something, but it's not that complicated to edit the PKGBUILD prior to calling makepkg.
I see what you're saying, but I also think it's actually a mark in Linux' favor that is continues to run so well on older or underpowered hardware. It's how I really got into it, being broke and able to eke out years more life on older computers when I could ill afford upgrades. These days, I'm happy that I can get off the upgrade treadmill for longer. The most demanding games I've installed are the Final Fantasy I-VI Pixel Remasters and Grandia. I'm not a programmer, don't have to render graphical stuff for work, etc, so it's pretty great that I don't have to worry about my budget desktop being unusable in 4 years because the OS devs have made it a practical impossibility to run on older hardware. I've got 32GB of RAM, and my biggest threat to usability is leaving Firefox running with a ton of open tabs for weeks on end, which can conveniently be solved by closing Firefox and watching my RAM use plummet.
Not everyone is going to be a gamer, graphics designer or programmer that really needs the latest and greatest in hardware. In fact, I'd wager the majority of people won't notice an improvement outside of a few cases. Upgrading from an HDD to an SSD, <16GB of RAM to >16GB of RAM and from an older graphics card to a newer one that supports 4K are pretty easy differences to note in normal use. Those aside, I think most people would be hard-pressed to identify an objective difference in the quality of their browsing and word processing experiences. Depending on how flexible people are with adapting to different workflows, even those could be minimized, to an extent. I have a desktop I bought second hand twenty years ago that served as my main computer into and beyond my initial forays in university. It has a whopping two cores, and I think I might have managed to get 16GB of RAM into it. It'd probably suck for web browsing and wouldn't be terribly efficient for power use, but I bet you if I reinstalled things, it would work just fine for serving up my music library via mpd, playing it with ncmpcpp and writing term papers in Auctex, same as it did back then. Even if I put an older version of Windows on it like Windows 7, I bet it would struggle to run those same programs on top of the base OS. That's legitimately impressive, when you think about it.
Perhaps it's changed in the years since I ditched Windows, but at least for a good while, just knowing what Linux was as a concept already represented a certain degree of awareness of tech that would have me surprised if they were unable to do any sort of troubleshooting. Whether or not they decide it's worth their time to do so was a different matter, of course.
That said, while being too hostile to new users is detrimental to broader adoption, the level of handholding that many users want just isn't reasonable to expect from a free OS being supported by volunteers. There's only so many times I'm going to put up with something like:
"My computer says it has an error."
"What's the error?"
"I don't know, it doesn't work."
on and on for a dozen messages or more only to realize the message is literally right in front of them the whole time and they're just deliberately being helpless, rather than put in any modicum of effort. After a while, I'm looking up if anyone has found a method to throttle someone via the internet the next time I see one.
Yes, you do need a certain level of independence to run Linux. I'm not sure why we make so many excuses for self-sabotage with computers, though. These are ubiquitous devices, and they've been around for a fair bit. I could understand someone who retired in the early 90s never having gotten into them, but it's absurd otherwise. So many people have an attitude with computers that would be like someone who's never looked at a cookbook, a youtube cooking channel or even done a cursory google search for a recipe coming to a stranger and saying, "Hey, I'm bad at cooking, so I don't get all this cooking stuff, but could you teach me to make beef bourguignon? Oh, and I need you to do it for free. What do you mean, 'chop the onions'? I told you I'm not a culinary person, I don't know this stuff. What, I need a knife for this? Oh my god, this is so complicated, can't you just show me an easy way?"
Even the person with the best of intentions will burn out helping with this sort of stuff, day after day, in their spare time. When it comes to tech support, many non-tech people have an absolutely insane sense of entitlement to the time and effort of strangers volunteering on the internet. Unless someone whips up an absolutely idiot-proof UI for Linux that is entirely self-explanatory, users will need to choose between putting in some amount of effort in the form of educating themselves even the slightest bit, or paying for the privilege of having someone else manage their computing and be at the mercy of that third-party whenever it makes a decision they dislike enough, or just ceases providing support altogether.
I once had someone at school declare, "Oh shit, you're hacking stuff!". I forget exactly what I was doing at the moment, but I either had a Latex doc open in vim, or I had ncmpcpp open. Not nearly as exciting as whatever he was imagining.
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