How do you deal with the situation where you are invited to play a game, only to find it's wildly complex and takes 4 hours to finish, and you find yourself not wanting to play it within minute 5? Englisch

Matte , vor 2 Monaten

anyways Terraforming Mars hardly lasts more than 3 hours. I’ve had games at it that lasted 1h45’. It needs that everybody prepare their turn on other player’s turns, and when it’s up to you, you just execute what you planned.

Matte , vor 2 Monaten

I got the opposite problem. I sit at the table and then get a super easy, super random game that lasts an hour and I just get irritated to waste an entire hour doing something that I feel trivial and random.

I’d rather play a 4-hour complex game but with lots of player agency rather than a 60-minute dice fest.

CileTheSane , vor 2 Monaten

I would suggest grabbing your phone and quickly looking up the game on BGG before you start to see its length and complexity rating. Would take less than a minute and would give you a broad idea of what you're in for.

Shyfer , vor 2 Monaten

Do they use the time on the box or user reported game times? Because I often find the game on the box can be very optimistic lol.

CileTheSane , vor 2 Monaten

BGG is user reported game length and weight. If you're learning the game you'll need to plan for it to take a little longer, as the times usually represent experienced players.

roofuskit , vor 2 Monaten

If you communicate a hard stop time and this happens when you say you have to leave it might be time to start declining invitations. If you didn't communicate a hard stop time and they communicated a much short play time than reality it sounds like you're both a bit at fault and you two should talk about it.

sunbeam60 , vor 2 Monaten

Oh no, another game of monopoly?!

Michal , vor 2 Monaten

Monopoly doesn't take that long, unless you change the rules specifically to prolong it.

plistig , vor 2 Monaten

Monopoly has rules?

Lianodel , vor 2 Monaten

Yeah, written in a little booklet and everything. You don't have to pass it down as an oral tradition from generation to generation!

DragonTypeWyvern , vor 2 Monaten

There's certainly something to be said for playing Monopoly on a might makes right basis

bob_lemon , vor 2 Monaten

The last game of monopoly I played was very much by the rules, and took 4 hours where the winner was statistically certain after 30 minutes.

DragonTypeWyvern , vor 2 Monaten

Funnily enough, that was actually the goal

lightnsfw , vor 2 Monaten

Games usually say how long they take on the box. If it's too long just decline. If it goes over that usually in my experience it's because people are fucking around and making it take longer than it should instead of focusing on the game. Which is even more rude than leaving if it gets too late.

wahming , vor 2 Monaten

If it goes over that usually in my experience it’s because people are fucking around and making it take longer than it should instead of focusing on the game

YMMV. In my experience 90% of game time estimates on the box are utter nonsense.

Voroxpete , vor 2 Monaten

I say this as someone who's a fan of big, complicated, hours long games; 90% of the time, the numbers listed on the box are a total fucking lie.

OK, to be more precise, they typically measure how long the designers - who know every rule, never deliberate over what action to take, always pass priority when they're done, and never stop to grab a glass of water - think the game should take. And probably don't include set up time.

Don_alForno , vor 2 Monaten

I am the person that loves long and complex games. If I have an upper limit for those qualities I have not found it yet, because it must be higher than those of all the players I've met.

So, I can't really answer your question, but I think I can tell you why the rest of the table was pissed off, and maybe that will help you in some way.

You like a certain type of game, but it's somewhat outside the mainstream, so it's difficult to find a full group for it and gather them all at the table at the same time. You get excited, you finally get to play the game you have been itching for. You're really having fun. Your strategy starts paying off. And then you don't get to see it to completion because one person gets up and leaves. It might be weeks or months before you get another chance. You got your hopes up and then got left hanging. That sucks.

A similar situation is if you talked somebody into a game who didn't want to play at first and just end up doing you a favor. In my experience, 9 times out of 10 they're not going to have a good time, and they'll drag the rest of the table down with them.

But here's the kicker: After some painful lessons I know those things now. So I don't nag people about playing with me anymore. I ask once, and then a no is a no. And I don't invite people who I know have a short attention span to play long games with me. And I sure as hell don't schedule a game night on a weekday where everybody needs to work tomorrow.

The person putting together the table has a responsibility to curate games that fit the audience or vice versa. Everybody else attending has a responsibility to be transparent about their availability and preferences.

ZDL , vor 2 Monaten

I wouldn't call "I need to go home because it's 11PM and I work tomorrow" a "short attention span". The fact that you're characterizing it as such is ... problematic.

Don_alForno , vor 2 Monaten

I'm not. You are making that connection.

The sentence right after that one applies better to OP.

jol , vor 2 Monaten

I played TF Mars many times and never took that long. Actually I found it to be in my sweet spot of complexity and time. But max 4 people.

But I totally get you. I have this friend who has a very peculiar way of explaining games. He explains the strategy instead of the lore and mechanics. I need to understand the mechanics first not the strategy. And he easily takes 1 hour to explain a game like Mars....

meep_launcher OP , vor 2 Monaten

Yeah... To be frank he just talked strategy, but in a way that it felt like he was just saying how smart he was, if that makes any sense.

jol , vor 2 Monaten

Yes totally make sense. The way I would TF Mars would be like "so this is a game where we play as corporations trying to develop mars. The goal is to make points by etc etc". He would explain it like "so there are these cards, cards can have these types, there are these projects, here's how you can make projects". The whole time I'd be like "why do I need this?" and everything just makes sense at the end.

solivine , vor 2 Monaten

Terraforming Mars is such a slog even when you know what you're doing.

Honestly it sounds like you need to communicate expectations ahead of time, and just make it clear you'll leave after X time regardless, that's not an unreasonable request. I don't think you did anything wrong in your example.

ZDL , vor 2 Monaten

Tonight it was Terraforming Mars, where I was told it would be a 3 hour game, but by hour 4 we were halfway done.

Irrelevant side jest: everybody knows that the Apartheid Manchild always lies about how long things will take.

ZDL , vor 2 Monaten

That sounds like my experience with Star Fleet battles. A 'simple' and 'introductory' game at a local games club that three hours later had us only finished the second turn.

Back then I stuck it out to be nice. Now I'm far more likely to just apologetically say that the game is not working for me.

Zacryon , vor 2 Monaten

Open and honest communication. Just say that you're not interested in the game.

If the host gets passive-aggressive you could try to talk civilised about that. In case they don't show the necessary understanding or are difficult to talk to, they might not be the kind of acquaintance you would like to keep.

wahming , vor 2 Monaten

To clarify, say that BEFORE starting the game. If we're 3 hours into a 4 hour game and you bail because you're not interested, depending on how it affects the game lots of people would get pretty pissy.

renard_roux , vor 2 Monaten

Had the exact opposite happen once — playing Risk with a group of friends, one guy ends up completely dominating the board. Almost everyone is out, just him and one other person left.

Everyone wants to either start a new game or go to a pub, but he still hasn't won. We ask him several times if he's accomplished his goal yet; he hasn't.

He drags the game out by an additional 3 hours, and finally wins. Turns out he had won some 4 hours earlier, and "forgot" or "misunderstood" his objective. In reality, assholes just wanted to try to take over the whole world, and thought we wouldn't insist on seeing the objective card afterwards.

We banned him from participating in any and all games. For life. This was some 25 years ago. I haven't seen him for 10+ years, but to the best of my knowledge, nobody from that particular friend group (around 12 people) ever let him participate in any games again.

Jaccident , vor 2 Monaten

I don’t have suggestions better than those of others; just know I empathise with you.

Also; I call that state Ludo Limbo. The game hasn’t clicked with you, and you’re not having a good time, but for reasons outside your control you’re fucking stuck there.

wintermute_oregon , vor 2 Monaten

Just slap your knee and say,” welp, it’s getting late”

Odiousmachine , vor 2 Monaten

Most German response ever.

Pandantic , vor 2 Monaten

I guess Germans and US Midwesterners have more in common than I thought!

ag_roberston_author , vor 2 Monaten

If you look at ethnic ancestry maps, you'll see there is a lot of German ancestry in the midwest.

Pandantic , vor 2 Monaten

Now that you mention it, that makes a lot of sense (part of my family is German ancestry). It had just never occurred to me that this particular social phenomenon was German-based because it’s such a common midwestern thing!

kakes , vor 2 Monaten

Not sure I have an answer, but my group has an understanding that we're all adults, and if someone needs to leave early or whatever, that's totally cool. I have one friend that I don't think has ever actually finished a game of MtG Commander lol.