Here's the weird part that made me think "oh this definitely needs to be a thread": I pulled the heatsink off and cleaned up the CPU module, and it's an HI3516.
It's an Arm Cortex A9, up to 800mhz. It can encode H.264 or MJPEG.
It can do face detection.
Apparently it is based on Linux 2.6.35?
It just needs some magnetics to talk ethernet and it can do wifi over USB or SDIO
And the only major chip on the big PCB is a Unisonic Technology MC34118, which is a voice switched speaker-phone circuit. So it's got some audio amps and automatic gain control.